REAL LIFE FRUSTRATION: MARGINALIZED

REAL LIFE FRUSTRATION

So this is actually a pretty frustrating topic, and I’m sure there are other moms who can relate. But I was inspired to write the post after applying for credit and being denied.

I thought it may happen this way, but for some reason Joe really wanted me to get the Rooms-To-Go account in my name. We ordered new furniture for our house, and while we have the money to pay it off, Joe decided he would rather use RTG’s money at 0% APR. ( This is where Dave Ramsey is wrong…we tried the whole “pay with cash to get a better deal with Joe’s truck last year. They told us they make more off of financing and are more likely to give a lower price since they make it on the back side.🤷‍♀️)

Anyway, after church this past Sunday, I went to complete the order for our furniture. I gave the man my information, and he got to the part about income. I gave him my income. Just what I make from the blog and the other things I do through training and coaching. Truth be told, it’s not a ton. Looking back, I should have just told him what gets deposited into our account monthly because it’s my money too…at least that’s what my husband tells me, though I honestly don’t feel like it is…but I didn’t feel right about it.

DENIED

I was denied credit for $1500. $1500!!🙄 I’ve  had credit since I was 18. I’ve always paid my bills on time and keep no balances on any of my credit cards. My car is paid off in full. The only thing I have in my name with a balance on it is my home. My credit is probably somewhere in the high 700s to low 800s….but I was denied.

PROBABLY MORE UPSET THAN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN

I don’t know why it hit me so hard. I pretty much knew it was going to happen. Ya know, I get the whole debt-to-income ratio thing. (But no one listens to me.) I cried.🙄 I cried because I was angry. I cried because I work my butt off every day and don’t really have a lot to show for it. And that’s frustrating!

BEING A MOM CAN BE OVERWHELMING

I’m a stay-at-home mom. I don’t get to see the fruits of my labor for a long time…it’s hard to see the great impact it will have while I’m in the trenches. My kids are great…

for everyone else. They overwhelm me every second of every day. But I know my time with them is short. And I try to remember that often.

GROWING IN POPULARITY BUT STILL UNDERVALUED AND THOUGHT “LESS OF”

I know in recent times, staying at home with the kids has grown in popularity. There’s pushback on the other side saying women deserve just as much as a man and if they choose to work then “blah, blah, blah”.

First of all, I’m not a man and I do have a choice. I chose to stay home, and I get that. Also, I can’t imagine working a full-time job outside the home, taking care of a household, paying the astronomical price for childcare, and run the crazy schedule for therapy and doctors we have. Staying at home was what I was meant to do. And I do enjoy it most of the time.

MARGINALIZED

But we are marginalized. Yes, I realize there are people who cheer us on and know the job is tough and thankless. (That’s any mama though.) But there are a lot of people who think we are just a bunch of hot messes running around like a chicken with our head cut off. “Bless our hearts.”

I’m sorry if I sound upset in this blog. Let me just say, I make enough money to pay the bill on a small $1500 loan. But I get that they have to protect themselves. They were willing to accept child support and alimony as income on the application, but not what was deposited monthly into our joint bank account without my husband co-signing. (Can I also just share I was able to get a car loan without him co-signing just a couple years ago…and we have less debt now.🤷‍♀️)

Just my stay-at-home mom rant for today. We are a marginalized portion of society, and our roll is highly undervalued given all we do. We are raising the next generation for no pay with almost constant work. Why is this? I believe that in the push for equality, we lost what makes us so special in the first place. But these are just my thoughts.

Until next time friends…

-XO

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