What To Say To Someone Who Is Pregnant
Ever wonder what to say to someone who is pregnant? Well, wonder no more! I’m here to tell you what you should say and what you definitely should NOT say. Often time “innocent” comments become insults to a pregnant woman. When pregnant, hormonal changes tend to make us a little more sensitive than usual. (Even the thought of being more sensitive made me sensitive when I was pregnant.) I’m here to share what comments I found helpful or one I would have found helpful had they been said. Let’s start with what not to say, and end on a positive note. 🙂
What NOT To Say
- “Wow! I don’t think you’re going to make it to your due date!” (When 6 months along). This in and of itself implies that you’re already huge. This is not helpful and should not be said to a pregnant woman who is most likely already sensitive about her size.
- Starts with a question: Woman: “Do you have a plan for delivery?” Me: “I’d like to try for a natural (unmedicated) delivery. Woman: “Don’t try to be superwoman.” This is not helpful. Birth is extremely personal and is up to each woman on her own terms. Birth is scary enough and instead of embracing the process, I feel our culture has tried to make the process so clinical when really we were designed to do this.
- Someone asks: “What are you going to name the Baby?” Me: “Uriah.” Person: “I don’t like that name.” While we didn’t go with a mainstream name, his name has great meaning. Read more about that here. Don’t tell a woman her name choice is bad. Those hormones might cause her to cut you.
- “You’ll never get your body back.” What I’d like to say to someone? “How is that helpful?” Truly think about that. You CAN get your body back. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
- Basically anything negative about child birth or having a baby. If she asks a very specific question, answer honestly, but don’t try to make childbirth or parenting a negative thing no matter what.
What You SHOULD Say
- “You look beautiful!” Especially if you can tell she’s gone to a lot of effort to do her hair and makeup and choose a cute outfit…and especially if she’s having her second child because I can guarantee you it was not easy for her to do!
- “You’re going to be a wonderful mama!” I’m not sure there is a time in life that women doubt themselves more, but you encourage any pregnant woman you see.
- “Let me make a meal for your family when the baby arrives.” Then deliver on that. Don’t wait for her to contact you, you say, “Can I bring dinner on (specific night of the week)?” Sometimes people have a hard time asking for help even if you’re offering. So be a little more direct. I can promise she’ll appreciate it.
- Offer any advice you found helpful during your pregnancy, delivery, and post partum period. First time moms especially don’t know what to expect.
- Support her in whatever way she chooses to feed her baby. I’m guilty of this one. I nursed each of my children, but there really are some women who can’t or simply choose not to. I’ve made it a point to understand and accept this. We all should. There’s enough judgement on mamas. Don’t let this be one for you.
Pregnancy is one of the strangest things I’ve ever experienced. I’m sure this is the case for most women. Remember you’re growing a human being and EVERY PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT! Do not compare your pregnancy to anyone else’s and don’t tell another pregnant woman you ONLY gained 10 lbs while she’s just finished telling you she’s already gained 50 lbs. My tips: if you’re planning on becoming pregnant, start working out NOW! Get in shape now, and continue throughout your pregnancy. There’s nothing like a healthy, fit pregnancy. It was a game changer for me. I wasn’t ripped. You couldn’t see my muscles. I had a huge belly, and still gained 40 lbs (just like every other pregnancy I had). But my pregnancy, delivery, and recovery period were so much easier. Here’s to a healthy pregnancy. AND remember, if you can’t find anything nice to say…Keep your mouth shut! 😛
If you’re thinking of becoming pregnant or you’re a new mama, I’d love to help you get more energy and get through your days a little bit easier. Let’s chat!