SAVE MYSELF

MUSIC MOVES THE HEART

I’ve shared my daughter’s love of Ed Sheeran. We went to see him back in November, and in preparation for the concert we listened to all the Ed songs.

I’ve also shared my struggle with depression, particularly over the last year an a half, but things really began to come to a head leading up to the concert, and one of the songs really resonated with me and the way I was feeling. It didn’t “fix” anything, but it definitely helped me feel less alone, knowing that others struggle…and putting into words how I feel. (Ed gets me. lol)

Ed Sheeran

SAVE MYSELF

These are the lyrics to “Save Myself”

I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe
I gave away my money and now we don’t even speak
I drove miles and miles, but would you do the same for me?
Oh, honestly?
Offered off my shoulder just for you to cry upon
Gave you constant shelter and a bed to keep you warm
They gave me the heartache and in return I gave a song
It goes on and on
Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf
No farewell
So before I save someone else, I’ve got to save myself
I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain
‘Cause human beings are destined to radiate or dream
What line do we stand upon ’cause from here looks the same?
And only scars remain
Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf
No farewell
So before I save someone else, I’ve got to save myself
But if don’t
Then I’ll go back
To where I’m rescuing a stranger
Just because they needed saving just like that
Oh, I’m here again
Between the devil and the danger
But I guess it’s just my nature
My dad was wrong
‘Cause I’m not like my mum
‘Cause she’d just smile and I’m complaining in a song
But it helps
So before I save someone else
I’ve got to save myself
Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf
No farewell
So before I save someone else, I’ve got to save myself
And before I blame someone else, I’ve got to save myself
And before I love someone else, I’ve got to love myself
or you can listen here

and while I can’t connect with the drowning of my pain in prescription pain killers and drinks, I know what it’s like to try to be everything for everyone and feel completely drained…and at the end of your rope.

APPLICATION TO DEPRESSION

Now this song certainly brings a more worldly application to depression, but I think most humans can connect in some way to this. I certainly did, and had to be careful listening to it because it really allowed me to feel my pain. And I’d just cry and cry.

What I’ve learned is it’s okay to say “no” and quit spreading myself so thin. I want to be there for others, but my main responsibility is to my family. My time is precious, and I don’t have a lot of it these days.

I’ve had to accept that I can’t do all the things…this has allowed me to let go of a lot of things. I’m not a perfectionist by any stretch, but for some reason, I felt like I needed to be “perfect” for my family and others who needed my help. A lot of times, people WILL drain you. There are givers and takers. The takers find the givers and suck the life out of them. It’s okay to say “no”.

I had to:  get my routine of eating and workouts back on track, accept that I couldn’t be all the things for all the people and that perfection is futile, and accept that I’m in a season of life that my family is my world and doing much outside of that creates stress and frustration for me.

NOT AN EXCUSE TO BE SELFISH OR FOCUSED ON SELF

I’m not saying you need to be selfish or focused solely on yourself, I’m saying that you have to find the MOST important things and focus on them. This will help.

I’ll admit, this has caused some guilt for me, but I imagine that it’s normal when you continue to add stuff and then have to back out. But when I stop to evaluate, my life is better and fuller. Someday I’ll be able to help more people, but now, my focus is on my family and doing what I can to support them emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE

Let me make it clear that the only One who can save us is God Himself, to me, this just means we need to have an awareness of things that drain and things that fill us up. Things that stress us and things that help comfort us. (I feel the need to clarify this so that my Christian readers aren’t confused and my non-Christian readers understand where I’m coming from.)

If you feel overwhelmed and frustrated, overweight and out-of-shape and have no idea where to start or what to do, let me help you.

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