PROCESSING A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE
Processing a traumatic experience is not easy. I haven’t purposely tried to be vague or not share, but honestly I’ve been having a really hard time lately.
I shared on my personal Facebook page that, almost two weeks ago, my daughter Jac had a grand mal seizure. For some reference and history, Jac was born in August of 2008 and began having grand mal seizures within hours of her birth most likely due to her brain damage. The seizures were controlled for a few months with Keppra and ended up coming off meds by seven months.
Fast forward to October 2018 when she began showing signs of complex partial seizures. After much testing and many doctors appointments her doctor put her on Keppra in December. The seizures stopped, but her personality changed. The doctor discussed possibly putting her on anti-depressants to help with mood. I wasn’t keen on that idea because I didn’t want to go down the path of medications for everything.
In March we had another appointment with her neurologist who thought maybe since we’d had a few months with no seizures maybe we were good to start coming off the medication so we began the six week process: Sunday May 19, 2019 was her last dose.
A SCARY DAY
Tuesday…a day I’m sure I won’t forget. At approximately 1:00 p.m. Jac came down the stairs having a grand mal seizure. It was absolutely terrifying. I hadn’t been that scared or sad (afterward) since her birth. Her brothers witnessed everything as well, and it was terrifying for them too. They were also helpful.
I sent Joseph outside to wait for the ambulance and sent Uriah upstairs to get towels to cover her (because she had taken her shirt off just before the seizure started) and to clean up all the spit that was coming out of her mouth.
I’m going to spare the details of the actual seizure because honestly remembering it too upsetting for me right now. I think about it enough as it is, and having to really going in depth is just too much.
The guys with Bryan County Emergency were amazing: Adam and Justin our new friends just down the road took excellent care of Jac (and me). We were able to bake them cookies and take them a card and give at least one of them a hug a couple of days later. It’s so good to know we have such great people lined up to help in an emergency just minutes down the road.
LIFE GOES ON
It’s been two weeks since this happened, and here’s what I have:
Jac is doing well. We are still tittering up to therapeutic dosing on Jac’s new medication. But so far, so good. It took her at least a week before she started acting like herself again, but as I’ve been told a seizure like that takes a lot out of someone. The doctor compared it to running a marathon.
The boys had a hard time with it. I’ve shared before, but Uriah is also in therapy and we all noticed after this event took place that he began stuttering terribly. His therapist believe it is due to witnessing such a traumatic event. We’ve spoken to both boys. Joseph had questions which we tried to answer, and Uriah just shared that he was scared for his sister.
Joe is fine because he wasn’t there when it happened. He met us at the hospital (quickly). Joe processes things much differently than I do too.
And then there’s me. I’ve been trying to process it all. When I told Joe I was “still processing” what happened he told me I’ll still be processing it in a year…but I guess it’s true.
I’M NOT COMPLAINING, BUT I COULD REALLY USE A BREAK
Life is hard. I feel like I’ve been hit with one thing after another for the last almost four year. Like we just can’t catch a break. I’m overwhelmed and I haven’t taken time to deal with anything…I’ve been taking in and dealing with a lot of things. Some things I can share with you and other things I’m just not ready to share. I try to be a positive person, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was struggling hard in life right now.
So that’s where we are…and for all the well-meaning people out there: 1. Have you tried the Keto Diet for seizures (which is actually why it was developed…to help control seizures that can’t be controlled well with medications)? 2. Have you thought about CBD oil?
To answer these questions, both these things would be used in addition to, not in lieu of medication. So if a medication is not working and the patient is still having seizures, then they will try other things with the medication. As far as the CBD oil goes they would write a prescription for a dispensary out of Colorado to make sure we know for sure the purity of the oil and exactly what we are getting. (I’ve asked and this is what I’ve been told.) I suppose it’s too early to know if this is an isolated incident, but we have a backup medication for a seizure lasting more than five minutes. (The one that happened on Tuesday was somewhere between 10-15 minutes.)
I’m not opposed at all to trying other things if I think they are necessary, but her seizures seem to be under control with the meds at this time.
So that’s our life at the moment. Still trying to get into our new routine in our new home since moving in March.
Until next time…