#metoo: Don’t Be a Victim


#MeToo has been used over 200,000 times and tweeted over 500,000 in the month of October. This social media movement, much like most social media movements, has already seemed to just “go away”. (At least I can say my Facebook feed isn’t inundated with the hashtag anymore.) But the reality is this movement began over 10 years ago. You can read the story of the woman who coined the phrase and original movement. As a woman, I believe it’s important to know that we aren’t alone in our experiences. And that’s exactly what this woman was seeking to do when she created it. Most people hadn’t heard of it though until earlier this month when dozens of Hollywood stars came out, one-after-another, accusing powerful men in Hollywood of sexual misconduct ranging from rape to inappropriate comments.

Why Is this Important?

Not to take anything away from these women and their experiences, but covering up something so serious just because you thought your career depended on it is really gross, and it’s a little difficult for me to take them seriously. Again, this is Hollywood, so it’s not the norm. I would never tell a woman something didn’t happen to her or tell her I don’t believe her without hearing her out, but if your body means something and your character, and “everyone knew about it” then SAY SOMETHING!! There is power in numbers and if you aren’t talking about something wrong you know is going on, then you’re guilty. I shared my personal experience about two incidence that happened when I was younger on my Facebook page. (Look for the post on October 16th.)Women’s Self Defense

Calling Men Out

Look, men are men. I’m not giving them pass, but I will say them cat calling is not sexually assaulting a victim. That’s called uncouth, and there are a plethora of humans of both the male and female persuasion who lack couth. It’s not okay, but I don’t think we need to rake men over the coals for whistling. It’s just a little bit ridiculous…I recently saw a video talking about women shouldn’t have to be afraid to walk down the street at night, or afraid of rape…how we need to teach boys “not to rape”. That’s all well and good, but rape is already illegal. Just like murdering people is illegal, people still do it. So what should women do? BE PREPARED!

Be Prepared

Last time a man touched me inappropriately (notice I say touched…not catcalled. I’m not going to jail for punching someone over words) I froze and had no idea what to do. My husband has taught me to be prepared and know how to defend myself. (You can read about other things Joe has taught me here on my guest blog for “Lead With The Left”.) He’s recently been through multiple combatives programs through the Army as well as certified as a R.A.D. instructor. Because of this, I’ve had an opportunity to take a couple classes and get comfortable throwing punches and kicks at another human. Want to see what it looks like?…

Note: When I originally posted this video on my Facebook page I got some criticism. (Not constructive…just the kind you would expect from a know-it-all turd) He assumed I didn’t know how to punch, and told me I should take a martial arts course instead of relying on a “women’s self defense” course.His argument was that everyone should know how to defense himself. I don’t disagree, but two things:  1. The form of defense taught in this class is Krav Maga which was specifically taught at Pooler Karate in Pooler, GA. 2. Women do need to have classes that are tailored to us. How we fight off an attacker and escape is much different than how a man would do it. If you’d like to discuss this, I have a number of professionals who would be happy to engage in this topic.

Final Thoughts

Reflecting on the two events I most remember, I thought how both the men in each situation would be surprised if the woman they laid their hands on gave them a swift elbow to the face or heel to the groin…and how they might not ever try that again. I feel confident today if the same thing were to happen that I would have appropriate defenses. If you make the mistake of violating my body, I reserve the right to violate your face…with my elbow. Or possibly another body part with my knee or foot. Just saying. Instead of thinking men should change and thinking we can teach this out of them (that’s another blog for another day about the breakdown of the family unit), guard yourself and make yourself as victim-proof as you can.

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