OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY
It’s no secret. I’m very open about my Christian Faith. I’ve also been very open recently about my battle with depression. Being a Christian doesn’t shield you from pain or depression.I feel like a teakettle, but the water is boiling and no room for escape. I didn’t tell my husband or my best friend or anyone. I finally lost it about a week ago, and I think I scared Joe. He was so concerned he called my best friend to tell her.
I didn’t talk to anyone about my depression or struggles because I didn’t want to be a burden for others. I know there are a lot of people who would say that I should just read my Bible and pray. Those are great things to do. In fact, if that’s all I COULD do it would be sufficient, but He has also given us other humans to help us, to minister to us, and to love us. God has blessed me with family and friends. Sometimes you just need to write, or say out loud what you’re feeling inside or what is frustrating you. I have felt so much better sharing that I’m not okay with others.
STRENGTH IN SHARING
It’s SO easy, especially as mothers, just to say “I’m fine” or “I’m okay” when someone asks us, “How are you?” It’s okay to tell someone that you’re not that great or that you’re struggling or having a hard time in life. In fact, somehow I think I thought I was being strong by keeping it all in and not telling anyone about my internal struggles. We all go through seasons, and life can become overwhelming…But it’s just part of being a human. God created us in His image. We feel feelings…deeply.
PROCESSING OUR FEELINGS AND SHARING
Sometimes we get hit with lots of things in life and therefore lots of emotions. And sometimes we struggle to process these emotions. This is when we just need to take the time to think things out. Part of the deepness of my depression is my fault (I believe) because I held it in. I didn’t think anyone else would understand. (I’m an empath so when people tell me their troubles I feel their pain. But I know that there are a lot of people who don’t have this ability, my husband for example…and that’s okay.) But you know what, sometimes you don’t need anyone to understand. You just need someone to listen because you literally just need to say your feelings out loud. I didn’t realize how freeing this process would feel.
While I’m not 100% back to where I was or where I want to be, I feel like just the act of putting it out there to others has helped…and apparently me being so open about depression has actually helped others who have been struggling with depression. That makes me happy. I’ll be sharing as much as I can over the coming weeks and share some things I think have helped and will help me. Life is hard, but it’s harder when you keep your feelings bottled in. Find a good friend (or I’ll be your friend). Share. It’s okay to not be okay…
Until next time friends…