It’s Not Just a Woman’s Intuition
When I talk about my intuition, I’m not talking about my ability to necessarily read people, though I think I’m a pretty good judge of character. It goes a lot deeper. I don’t want to say I’m psychic because I can’t predict…but I do get very strong feelings about situations and even people from afar.
One day, my first year in college, I got this overwhelming sense that something wasn’t right. I couldn’t shake the feeling. My grandfather was in the early to mid stages of dementia, so when I mentioned this feeling to my mom (who also often gets “feelings”) she told me my feeling probably had something to do with him. I still didn’t feel right. The feeling remained, but I continued about my daily activities. My mind kept turing over what this “feeling” could possibly be. As I arrived back at my dorm a little bird landed in front of me and then took off. (My mom loves birds and so any time I see them I think of her.) I briefly thought, “Mom! Something’s wrong with Mama!” But I shook it off quickly because there were no signs of sickness that she had revealed to me.
That afternoon I decided to cheer myself up from my “weird feeling” with a trip to the mall and food court. (Way better than cafeteria food!) As I stood outside Victoria’s Secret (yes, I remember odd details like this from my life) my daddy called me to tell me my mom was being taking in for an emergency appendectomy!! That was it! My bad feeling went away and I knew it was all because my mom was sick! This “feeling” has overtaken me so many times in my adult life. It happened frequently when my husband was overseas especially the last few times when he was supposed to be in relatively safe areas and situations. I would get those strange, unexplainable feelings, and I just knew it was him. He would later call me to tell me where he was or where he was going, or where he had been and it all made sense.
I Thought I Was Being Overly Sensitive…
But I wasn’t. Back in May I went for a run. I love to run. It’s just me, my music, and my thoughts. Sometimes I think. Sometimes I talk to God. But my runs are always peaceful and enjoyable. Just this year, my best friend in the whole world lost her sweet daddy to the very same cancer my daddy has been diagnosed with. I ran to a bridge near my house because the view really is beautiful. I stopped and watched the animals: birds and tiny crabs were all around. Then I texted my bestie pictures of the swallows because those are our birds. (We’ve adopted them. We’re weird like that.) I thought of her and prayed for her, and then I turned around to run back home. At that moment “Your Song” by Elton John came up on my play list and this overwhelming sense of sadness fell on me. “Your Song” is special to me because when I was in high school, instead of hanging out with friends on Friday and Saturday nights, my daddy and I usually spent those nights hanging out riding around the county and listening to music. “Your Song” was one of “our songs”.
I began to think about MY daddy having to endure what her daddy had just endured. I thought about what it would be like to lose MY daddy, and began to cry. Breathing became difficult, and I had to talk to myself and tell myself as I ran home that, “No! You’re just being overly sensitive. This is not happening to YOUR daddy.”
The Next Week
That very next weekend I headed to see my parents, and arrived late Saturday evening. The next morning my mom started telling me about the CAT scan my daddy had done just that Friday because of a knot found in his neck. Nobody told me about a CAT scan OR a knot!…fast forward a couple weeks to the diagnosis of cancer. It’s the same cancer as my best friend’s daddy, but the situations are very different. She was the first person I called with the bad news and she was the first one to encourage me and assure me that the situations were different and that I shouldn’t compare them.
I have no doubt that God will use this situation to His glory! This is a trial for sure, but no doubt, God will be glorified in this and in all trials. I don’t know what my “feelings” mean. Honestly, I wish that I didn’t get them…except you know what I do when I get them about specific people now? Pray.
Music brings about so many emotions. Elton John was one of the many artists we used to listen to as we drove around Roanoke Rapids and Halifax County. So it always brings back great memories when I listen to his “old” stuff. 😉 Beautiful voice and talent for writing music…combined with the poetic talent of Bernie Taupin, you get great songs like “Your Song”. If you’ve never heard it, have a listen.
I will always think of my daddy when I hear an Elton John song.